Yes, I do

Speak a foreign language, that is. Actually, I speak three- one of them is English.

Tonight: My unpublished letter to the Gateway in reaction to the article by White comparing oral sex on a women with being stuck between the hindlegs of a bull.

Take this*, you video haters!

And you thought the other video was annoying...

If you stop it at the right moment, it kind of looks like Conan O'Brien.

* copyright lies with Chris Chan.

The previous post was spurred by an MSN conversation with Adam Knisely.

Doctor B says:
Anyways, I think part of this conversation is going to make it onto my blog tonight.

8 days to vancouver says:
oh wonderful

Doctor B says:
I knew you'd like that.

8 days to vancouver says:
i like blogs

8 days to vancouver says:
credit me with that or i'll sue yuo

Doctor B says:
oh, geez. I already made the post.

Doctor B says:
But fine.

Happy now, Knisely?

Another random piece of conversation

"What are you wearing?"
"A snow suit. You?"
"A deer carcass."

Best Excuse Ever

"If I'd known that breathing was necessary to sustain life, I would have done it more often."

"You're not that drunk."

"Yeah? Well if I'm not drunk, what the hell am I doing wedged between a pop machine and an ice machine with you on the third floor of some hotel downtown with a beer in each hand?"

Gaaaaaaaaaah!

I can't believe I woke up to a couple of nimwits trying to do a running gag about the notwithstanding clause.

"I stopped believing in the notwithstanding clause when I was nine."
"Every year on December 25, the notwitstanding clause comes down the chimney and repeals a law."

Yes, the emphasis is on *trying*.

Why do I have to suffer through so much unintelligent, uninformed babbling by two middle-aged guys, with lots of awkward silences, just to listen to some classic rock?

I think I heard them scratch their crotches, too.

Then, as if all of this wasn't bad enough, TD Bank followed up with a tear-jerking commercial about selling badges about something-yadda-yadda Edmonton safe- yadda-yadda-let's make money off the dead RCMP officers.

I think I am going to set my radio to that piercing beeping noise in order to preserve my sanity.

(Sam, I am waiting for your comment and I know what it will be.)

Look, it's two for one day!

This morning, after a rather late night, I rolled myself out of bed and biked down Whyte Avenue to make the ungodly office hours of the German Consulate(9-12)before my 11 am class. After waiting in line for about half an hour, I am told that a new German passport with a German address costs twice the amount of a new German passport with a Canadian address.

Huh?

Anyways, I will have to pay a full $180 for my new passport. I mean, ouch!

Crazy Germans.

Fun fact of the day: It appears Canada has stricter regulations for its passport pictures than Germany. The following monologue took place in HUB mall at the photographer's there:

"Could you smile a bit? You're practically glaring at me."

Alright, buddy. Please press the button.

" No, that was too much smiling. You're not allowed to show your teeth."

Okay. Now press the button.

"No, still too much."

Guess what? *Now* I actually *am* glaring at you!

"Alright, do what you think is right. I am not giving any guarantees though."

Guess What?

My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Doctor B.
What's yours?

Mormonise me!

My Mormon name is Candri-Anne Amberleigh.
What's yours?

To the girl with the yellow rubber boots and the short skirt that I keep seeing around campus:

You have the most awesome legs I have ever seen.

I hate you.

Newsflash!

The beer stain is dry. I can go to bed.

I glue 81 differently coloured square pieces of paper on another piece of paper...

...and my art teacher deduces that I have a " huge intellect".

Seriously, though. One person in my class arranged his squares according to the first letters of a Robert Frost poem that happens to have 81 words, and I, who does it last minute before class, have a "huge intellect".

Not that I disagree, mind you, but just because I frown a lot in class that doesn't mean I'm smart. Give me a break.

I hate it when people compliment me for something that they pulled out of their asses.

'Catrin' is a Mexican term to mock pretentious elegance.

Who would have thought?

In other news, I now have a huge beer stain on my mattress. I am not at all confident it will be dry by tonight.

Fuck you stupid virus, I'm smarter

HA!

This just in!

1.
There is a brand new, shiny, awesome American Apparel store on Whyte Avenue now! It sells beautiful, affordable, colourful, sweatshop-free made cotton clothing, for men, women and babies/toddlers. I have been on their website many a time, but buying clothes online is just not feasible, so I was thrilled about this. I was also pleasantly surprised by the fact that the clothes look a lot nicer in real life than they do on the website, and that they have more selection in the store than online. I hereby vow to buy at least 3/4 of my clothing there from now on. Especially the bras are totally awesome and ridiculously comfortable and unbelievably cheap.

2.
I booked a ticket home to Germany today.When I did that, I realized that by the time I leave here, my passport will have expired. Well, shit.

3.
I am going backpacking through Europe in May/June 2006 for about 4-6 months.

4.
Scholar's sells 50 cent highballs to the ladies on Saturday night. That's pretty awesome if you want to get smashed. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the right mindset for it tonight.

That is all.

"Traveller 1 name is incorrect. First and last names combined must be minimum 4 letters, maximum 23. Each name must be minimum 2 letters, maximum 21."

Well, fuck you too, travelcuts website.