R.I.P., Nash (Unluckiest Frog in Catrin's Aquarium History)

I killed it. I'm not a murderess, but I'm definitely guilty of negligent frogslaughter. When I checked my aquarium this morning, all was well: Crosby, Stills and Nash were frolicking, and Young was hiding under a plastic plant doing his own thing.

Then, I went to a math refresher course, and it took me about 45 minutes to realize it was a waste of my time. Unfortunately, by the time I got home, it was too late: The froggy's legs were both stuck far up my filter intake, its white belly frivolously exposed to whoever cared to look. Not being able to free himself and go to the surface to breathe, he had drowned while some mumbling instructor with bad handwriting tried to explain multivariable calculus in 7 minutes to me(and failed).

And the worst thing is, I was warned this could happen, and didn't do what was suggested to prevent it.

A frog butcher is what I am, and I understand if y'all can't be my friends any more.

Things I Did, Things I'm Done, Things I'm Doing

Scuba Diving:

I am now an open-water certified scubadiver. I spent a weekend in July in Strathcona Pool and the Northwest Scuba classroom and last weekend in refreshing Lakes Edith and Annette in Jasper. Wearing 14 mm of neoprene on my core and 7mm overywhere else, including a hood, gloves, and boots, I dived down 42 feet. The lakes have a silt bottom, and when there's 19 inexperienced divers in one who have no idea in hell how to deal with their buoyancy and who keep stirring up the bottom, the water gets quite murky. At times, the only thing I could see was my instructor's neon yellow tank. Also, there's not much to see in the first place in these lakes. Actually, there is as good as nothing to see- A few fairly large-sized(around 12 inches or so) sand-colored suckerfish, and a few schools of inch-long, also sand-colored fish. Now, I'm hoping to go to Mexico to do my Advanced Open Water Certification there, and, you know, to actually see some underwater life.

Bachelor of Arts:

I am done. I wrote my last exam on Friday. I shall be convocating in November, when I'm already a Master's of Science student(thesis-based) of Resource Economics in the Department of Rural Economy.


Bear-sighting:

Yes, I saw a bear. Actually, I saw three bears: A female black bear with two cubs. It was my first real trip to the mountains. The bears appeared on the side of Maligne Road between Medicine Lake and Maligne Lake.

Other things I'm doing:

Sitting at the airport greeting new international students, doing research, trying to write more plays, sporadically attending a math refresher course, reading, and trying to catch a few plays at the fringe.

Sorry, You Are Not Old Enough to Enter This Site

Huh?

First of all, this is the site of a General Audience-rated TV show.

Secondly, I am 25 years old.

And thirdly, I entered my birthdate as March 2, 1932.

Go figure.

Madlibs for President!

I love Madlibs. Sometimes I laugh so hard I stop breathing for a little bit.

Here's what I've learned about American politics and America in general by doing Madlibs. Check it out- I bet you'll learn something.

• When George Washington was a wooden boy, he took his bathtub and chopped down his father's cucumber tree.
• One of the many bras the American president wears is that of the diplomat.
• The Government is of the people, for the people, and by the fish.
• Campaign speeches sound something like this: "I want to warn you against my crumbly opponent, Mr. Steve. This man is nothing but a fruity potato."
• If you want to hold a good public speech, you must organize all your pigs feet on a piece of toilet seat and keep a pitcher of urine handy in case your spine goes dry.
• Abraham Lincoln preserved the foreskin and Thomas Jefferson is the author of the Declaration of Circumcision.
• Many curvaceous citizens observe Independence Horse by hanging their whore out a window or running it up an ineffecive pole.
• Favourite American foods are apple ninja and corn on the misconception.
• Patrick Henry said, "Give me liberty or give me watermelon."
• On voting day, you might have to show your bush to prove your identity. Then, you may place an A in a small jockstrap opposite your candidate's snorkel.
• It is unlawful to own a weasel or carry a concealed weasel without a weasel license.
• The legislative branch consists of congress and the senate, who decide which monkeys are passed into canisters. Their decisions can be vetoed by the accountant.
• Harry Truman's nickname was "Giv'em Hooker Harry".
• Dick Nixon is famous for saying "I am not a rearview mirror!"

I bet you didn't know all of that!

[On a side note, I played Poker against 8 other players all male and more experienced than me, bought in for twenty, and cashed out at 79.75.]



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Honey, You Don't Know Me From a Hole in the Wall

Which is why you've tagged me to fill out a survey about sports.

Anyways, here goes:

1. Have you ever been in a fantasy league?

Have I? Ha! I am currently tied for first place in the University of Alberta's Fantasy Students' Council League. Council's not a sport, you say? Clearly, you've never been there. Go have someone tell you the Indian leg-wrestling story.

2. What was the first jersey you ever owned?

Uh...I might have dated someone once who owned a jersey. Wait...define 'jersey'. And 'dating'. And while you're at it, define 'sex'- it might come in handy some time.

3. Top 5 sports books

Gone With the Wind, for the daring horseback riding
Nineteen Eighty-four, for the idyllic cross-country hiking
The Lord of the Flies, for the enthralling wrestling sequences
Sphere, for the deep-diving scenes
and last, but certainly not least,
Tender Viking of My Heart for the dashing sword-fighting. Damned Saxons.

4. 10 favorite athletes

that really short guy who used to play for the Charlotte Hornets in the early- to mid-nineties
the coach of the Croatian national soccer team
Rocky
Forrest Gump.

That's right, I got nothing.

5. Three Athletes I secretly admire but am ashamed to admit it for fear of ridicule

Shame is not a factor, and ridicule is what I do to others.

Still, I got nothing.

6. The 5 people I tag are:

Paul Wells, Joacqin Phoenix, Angela Merkel, Dan Brown, and Aaron Sorkin. Go!