Newsflash

1. Random quotes from my writing teacher:

• "We're going to watch a few clips today. I brought a really obscure documentary about Kennedy during the Cuba crisis, one about Clinton during the Lewinski crisis, and 'Cops- too hot for TV'."

• "My theory is that Peter Mansbridge has been dead for years. They just keep wheeling him in there."

• "I like it how Clinton said 'inappropriate relationship'. I mean, say, if I came to class with a T-shirt saying Porn Star every day, that would be inappropriate. But try and stop me."

2. My health.

I must be allergic to something. Or, I have a brain tumor. Or, I'm a hypochondriac. I'd say the chances are 60:5:35.

And, don't ever bother to go to the health centre. They will make you wait 2 hours and 15 minutes, then listen to your symptoms, then say: "I have no idea what's wrong with you. Let's wait and see if it doesn't go away on its own."

Well, thank you very much.