Here I am...

at 9:09, less than 10 minutes late, and who is not there (question mark)

You guessed it- My writing teacher. I am still waiting to get back my paper where I argued that Casablanca had shit all to do with love, but rather nicely illustrates the devastating effects of rejection on the male psyche and the impressively swift recovery process that follows when the individual in question(Rick) discovers that in fact, Ilsa always *did* love him more than Victor (the incredibly boring guy). I mean, he really seemed rather content after shipping her off on that plane, don(apostrophe)t you think(question mark)
Self-sacrifice, my ass. He simply got over it as soon as she admitted her love. Moral of the story(question mark)

Deny, deny, deny.

But I digress- back to my writing teacher. He finally strolls in at 9:21, then proceeds to talk about his seventh grade math teacher and volleyball coach, who slowly went crazy during that year. It was a bit like group therapy, just that (quotation mark)group(quotation mark) referred to a class that consisted of 18 individuals that had payed $400 something to be here, and that the single individual to be therapized hadn(apostrophe)t- on the contrary.
At the end of the class, I ask for my paper. In the spirit of (quotation mark) The best defense is a good offense(quotation mark), he attacks:

(quotation mark) *You* weren(apostrophe)t here on Wednesday! (quotation mark)

Then, somewhat milder:

(quotation mark) I was in a real rush to get here.(quotation mark)

Uhm. Right. On second thought, he *did* stroll rather hectically into the classroom...

(quotation mark) Also, I am really more into my ENGL 111 class these days...(quotation mark)

He shrugs.

To cut a short story long, he still doesn(apostrophe)t have my paper. I am not too worried about the grade, though, as he was really impressed by my last paper- I argued that Alice Cooper was a better feminist than John Lennon(I liked that, you really took a risk there.-Oh, you think(question mark)).


And for all of you who are wondering why I have replaced certain punctuation with lenghty words, that is because some francophile fuckhead(best alliteration ever. I was going to write jackass, to be somewhat milder and not to insult my francophone readership, but then the three following things occurred to me: 1. That I had a cheap shot at an alliteration, 2. That I do not care about insulting my francophone readership, and 3. That I do not have a francophone readership) seems to have replaced the question mark, the brackets, the apostrophe, the quotation mark, and the backslash on this very work station in Knowledge Common with É , ^ , ç , è , È , é, respectively(I am still looking for the trema, and am a bit concerned as to why it has evaded me so far).

I mean, the question mark(question mark) The apostrophe(question mark) Is nothing sacred any more(question mark)

This is Alberta, for fuck(apostrophe)s sakes!!!