Punda Malidadi

Friday, January 14, 2005

More about My Writing Teacher

First day of classes:

I am a fashionable 4 minutes late when I take a right from HUB mall into Humanities. As I glance to my left, I see my teacher casually sitting on a couch chatting with some girl. When he sees me, he casually waves to me, smiling . 5 minutes later and a total of 9 minutes late-that is a frightening 18% of total class time- he casually strolls into the classroom. He scares two lost people out of the room by swivelling around, pointing at them and exclaiming: "Who are *you*?"(It is a two-term course).
After the course, he finds me sitting in HUB Mall and tells me I am the best writer in the course, and asks me whether I would like to tutor people in writing. Which would have been very flattering, had we not had this conversation three times before in the previous term. Talk about Deja-Vu. More like Deja-do.

Second day of classes:

Alright, I didn't go.

Third day of classes:

He makes us do inkshedding because he is unprepared. I know that because he told me he thinks inkshedding is dumb("No one should ever write without thinking about grammar.". Needless to say, I completely agree.)
He makes us title the inksheddings "Inkshedding # 47.3- PLACE". His rationale for that?
"In case I lose them, people will think: Wow, that Michael Lahey guy is really organized."
I will leave it up to you to find the flaw in that argument.
Then, he hands me a picture of what looks like naked feet in dress shoes. I start my inkshedding with "He was dressed like a Buddhist monk, but the dress shoes gave him away".
While we do our thing, he grades our essays which he has had since December 8th. Alright, except for mine, which was a fashionable 4 days late. Not including the extension he gave me. At the end of the class, he hands back all of them except 4, one of them being mine, and proclaims:" One of them was late. It is at the bottom of my pile. The very bottom. As a punishment. Where it gets jelly donut stains on it. And tea. And blood. Puss. Heroin."

Alright, Buddy. At least now I now that I am ill-advised to try to take any of my papers through customs.

7 Comments:

Blogger Steve wrote:
[1:49 PM, January 14, 2005]
1. Please define "inkshedding" for those of us who are unaware of its definition.
2. You spelled "lose" wrong - ha! Unless your prof actually said "loose", which wouldn't make much sense.
Blogger Catrin wrote:
[3:47 PM, January 14, 2005]
1. Inkshedding is a writing technique meant to free you of all inhibitions and prescreening of your thoughts. The writer just keeps shedding his ink on the paper, so to speak. It's almost a bit like stream of consciousness, just a bit more coherent. One might start from one word, or a sentence, or a picture as was my case, and then start writing what comes to mind.
2. You're right. Mark this day in your calendar, because it might not happen again any time soon.
Blogger Nick wrote:
[10:21 PM, January 14, 2005]
Actually, Steve, the error you identified lacks the ironic punch of this one:

"No one should ever write without thinking about grammar.". Needless to say, I completely agree.
Anonymous Anonymous wrote:
[1:34 AM, January 15, 2005]
Catrin, what is going on? Two basic writing errors in a single post about writing and grammar? Is something distracting you?
Blogger Catrin wrote:
[2:37 PM, January 15, 2005]
Well, Nick, I am still at a loss, unless you are talking about punctuation. If not, please expand. Also, I still don't see how it would be *that* ironic, because I can assure you that I indeed did think about grammar when writing the post. It would have been a lot more ironic had I written "No one should ever write anything gramatically incorrect".
Also, Anonymous: One of them is a spelling mistake. As for your other comment: it is humanly impossible to distract me from grammar.
Blogger Nick wrote:
[8:55 PM, January 15, 2005]
It's a punctuation error. There should not be a redundant period terminating an already terminated quotation.
Blogger Catrin wrote:
[12:01 AM, January 16, 2005]
Nick Tam, are you ever petty. I commend you for that.

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