Too [something] for the Gateway.

It's either boring, hot, or informative. You decide.

Here's my unpublished letter in response to this article. Read and be educated.

Dear Gateway,

I am not writing to join the chorus of others before me complaining about the deteriorating quality of the opinion section as a whole. This letter is part of my constructive effort to contribute to the quality of The Gateway, mainly by preventing a potentially gullible male readership from picking up some very destructive notions about cunnilingus from last Thursday’s opinion article by Christopher White. Firstly, I am a bit at a loss about his idea that the design of the male body would invite the kneeling of the fellating woman- to my humble knowledge, male genitals are situated at the exact same spot of the human body as are women’s genitals. Furthermore, White’s analogy of comparing the performance of oral sex on a woman with getting caught between the hind legs of a bull is not only offensive, but also involuntarily humorous, considering the chosen animal’s sex. Without being overly facetious, I would suggest that if his experience is comparable to the above analogy, the woman in question was most likely buckling in pain, not pleasure- after all, the average clitoris has more nerve endings than the average head of a penis in a fraction of the area. As to the comment about getting “a temporary case of jaw rickets”, I will quote some wisdom from Tracy Cox’ commendable book Hot Sex: ”The tongue movements are gentle and if a guy can’t keep them up for at least ten to fifteen minutes, his tongue’s too tense or he’s doing it too fast.” There is a ton of information out there on how to please a woman, but- gasp!- you won’t find it by googling “cunnilingus”; instead, you might have to go to the sex section of a bookstore and then buy a book that has – gasp! – been written by a woman. Let me know some time how that worked out for you.