If You Love A Woman, Tell Her to Pass the Butter

(1)
Within less than 24 hours, I watched 4 movies- two of them were Last Tango In Paris and Don Juan De Marco. Talk about different perspectives. I mean, God, am I ever confused now. Could you make up your godddamn mind, Brando?

The other two, coincidentally, were The Corporation and The World's Hottest Commercials. Juxtapositions are in the air.

(2)
The German Consulate now wants 390 Dollars to renew my passport. I think they fucking lost it. Of course, they told me Thursday at 10am that if they didn't have the money by 12noon, they would be unable to provide me with a passport in time for my flight on the 22nd of April. My ticket is non-refundable- not even the date can be changed.
Unfortunately, I didn't have a penny to my name, and on top of that, they only take cash. After some frantic cycling and[sap]the help of the best friend you could imagine[/sap], I managed to hand them 19 twenty-dollar bills and a ten on time, and slowly started breathing again(did I mention that I hyperventilated?).
Infuriatingly enough, when I listened to my messages Friday morning, there was one from the German consulate saying that they had "been in contact with Vancouver and received new instructions for [my] case" and that I should urgently call them. What's with all the secrecy? It's like they're speaking code. Also, they only have office hours Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 9 to 12.
Point of the story: I am very nervous. Again.
Stay tuned on Tuesday for updates.

(3)
I have by now received compliments from three separate female acquaintances(I have had a class with each of them at some point or another of my academic career), either in the hallways or per email, about my letter to the Gateway about oral sex. (which was, after all, published last Tuesday).

Comments included, "so great of you to write that on behalf of women", "thank you for finally telling it like it is", to "I laughed so hard-you know, the writer is my friend, and I just couldn't believe he wrote that". So, in short- you better believe.

Although, I had really hoped they would have printed my other letter - but they chose not to, on account of it being potentially libelous. Which is crap, of course.

(4)

I am planning a post about women's behaviour in relationships, offering my unrequested advice- to women- on how to *not* fuck things up. Not that I want to insinuate that it's always women fucking things up, but I do think men as a group are generally psychologically healthier than women, and that we could leard a lot from them in terms of self-image, standing our ground, and confidence. I am going to start right now:

I never thought relationships are the kind of thing you get better at with practice, but I sure do.

There.