Your Mom Is Sub Zero!

So, I got myself a Super Nintendo- the last game console that didn't require people to put all other parts of their life on hold in order to learn how to play with it(Hee hee- other parts of their life).

Also, while I'm trying to analyze totalitarianism in two novels, two questions have come to my mind and won't go away:

What is the longest turd ever produced by a human being?

Is there a guinness record on it?