Thank you, Dr Lahey.

He extended the deadline for the essay. Boy, am I ever lucky. I have an essay due tomorrow that I have started writing an hour ago(yes, I am taking time off to blog. I have my priorities), and a midterm on Wednesday, plus this stupid writing essay would have been due on Wednesday too. If you've read my blog faithfully, you know that I am stuck with this four page draft that I refused to let anyone read- now, I have the time to write something new. Phew.


Highlights of today's writing class:

He came on time!

Indeed, he walked in, looking at my breakfast, looking closer, bending over, giving me a funny look.

What is it, Lahey, never seen anyone eat deep fried plantains for breakfast before?

Eurocentrist.


Then, he starts the class with this:

"I got something in the mail from Rahim Jaffer, that guy from the Canadian Alliance."

(Huge uproar. Some Chuckling. Then, clarification.)

"Anyways, his pamphlet had a huge amount of grammatical mistakes. I also got this thing from these consultants who call themselves 'Dress For Success', and I counted 18 grammatical mistakes. So I gave them a call to let them know. They tried to say it was the editor's fault- after all, they weren't 'specialists' in that kind of thing."


A student comes in late.

He looks shocked and says: "Shhhh! Shhhh, here she comes."

(Student looks confused. He chuckles for the rest of the class.)


Then, a sentence:

I decided to buy my sister a car in Paris.
I decided in Paris to buy my sister a car.
In Paris, I decided to buy my sister a car.

"In which sentences does he only decide in Paris, and in which does he actually buy it in Paris? Catrin?"

"I think the third one clearly stated that he made the decision in Paris, but whether or not he bought it there is unclear. When the comma separates an introductory phrase, doesn't that mean that it modifies the whole sentence that follows?"

Another student:

"Why don't we just write 'I decided to buy a car for my sister in Paris.'?"

"Great, now the sister could be in Paris too. Yeah, why don't we do *triple* ambiguity! While we're at ambiguity, let's *crank* it up! Let's do a *buffet* of ambiguity! A *smorgasbord* of ambiguity!"


Later, he talks about the movie "Black Hawk Down".

"There is no such thing as just combat. It's not checkers."

Then, up until the end of class, he proceeds to imitate the battlefield atmosphere, by forming a little beat box with his hands, and imitating radio transmission of commands, including much interference.

"Kzchczhczczhzzzkkkrkrk...Black Hawk Down.....Kscchhhzzhzrrrrrzzzz.....do you copy? I SAY, DO YOU COPY? Secure the peri....krrrrrrrkkkkkkkkxxxxxxxxchchchczzzzzz......"



When I go to talk to him about my essay topic, he extends his hand out to me, then says:

"Catrin, good to see you sober."

Ass.